Lulu kept pushing my
wheelchair forward IGNORING me
completely :’)
.
.
.
MY EYES HAD CAPTURED
SOMETHING THAT LET MY HEART SKIP A BEATTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.
.
.
It was كلب بوليسي…
.
.
I started SCREAMING my lungs out!!!
Lulu: shfeeech t9r5eeen fashlteeenaa allah yhadach elawadem gam
y5zounaa!! :o :’(
Me: shoofyy elchalbb ehnaaak :’( *pointing on the dog*
Lulu: yumaaaaaa!! *running away*
Me: lulu *sniffing* yal khaysaaaa *sniffing* la t5leenii brou7iiii
Thoughts>>
She left me alone.. such a loyal, true friend ;’)
My hands started to tremble ..so I couldn’t move my wheelchair at all ..
I kept searching for my phone in my trouser pockets .. I got it, dialed lulu’s
number .. and here comes the worse part .. lulu left her hand bag on my wheelchair
.. so there’s no way she return back to save me ..
I wish that I can walk normally as before ..
I wish that my nanny was here beside me .. so that she won’t leave me
alone ..
I wish to have strong personality..
I wish to control my feelings ..
THE DOG WAS COMING NEAR ME NOW!!!!!
5 STEPS AWAY FROM ME..
4 STEPS AWAY..
3 STEPS..
2..
OH MY GOD..
I’M DEAD.
I kept whispering
يا رب
ساعدني ..
.
.
My negative thoughts were disturbed by the voice of a young gentleman ..
guy: mocha come hereee *calling his dog*
Me: …..
guy: asfeen ekhty, kahu mocha o wakhrna 3n 6reejch enshalla ma t3wrty?
Me: laa m t3wrt .. el7emdeallah..
guy: el7emdeallah..
..
I thanked him, then went moving forward toward MacDonald’s .. my eyes
were searching for lulu I want her to be with me especially now :(
ALL OF A SUDDEN!
Someone hugged me from the side, I turned to see LULU !
Lulu: waayyy ashwaa ma sar fech shyy wallah gmt a7ateechh;(
Me: yal khaynaaa ana a3lmech :)
Lulu; gelna sorry:(
Me: hmm..
Lulu: o hathy bousa *kissing my forehead::* wallah asfaa ma a3edha:( :c
Me: khala9 r’9eenaa :::
Lulu: hehe:$
..
We entered mac .. I was searching for nour ..
But!
I saw something that wasn’t expected at all ..
That thing made me feel weak..
It made me lose my strengthen ..
It made my body shiver..
It made me taste jealousy ..
I saw them both, nour & KHALED laughing with each other ..
It’s obvious..
She SHOWED him my script, and he’s laughing at me..
Thinking that my feelings are a joke to joke with..
Or worse.. they think that I don’t have feelings ..
Yeah, I wish if I had lost my feelings in that accident..
..
Lulu: kahyy ehnak .. ohh mu chnh hatha khaled ely m3aha?
Me: eeh :’)
Lulu: aah .. shaikha khala9 mu lazm trou7en lha khnrj3 a7sn .. hl 7qeera
7sabha 3end allah ou la tnseen الدنيا
دواره
Me: la
Lulu: shnu la:s
Me: ma ared
Lulu: mn 9ijch? :o :o :o
Me: lulu lw sm7ty khaleni brou7i :)
Lulu: ARE YOU SURE?? *shaking my shoulder*
Me: EEEEHH
Lulu: 3ala ra7tch..
She left..
Thoughts>>
I had enough from getting insulted by people..
I had enough from being invisible in front of people I love, care
about..
I had enough from letting others stand for me..
I had enough from keeping what hurts me the most inside my heart..
I can’t handle those lifeless, heartless creatures that think my
feelings doesn’t exist, and treat me like a non living thing!!!!!!!
It’s time to STAND UP FOR MYSELF.
..
I went pushing my wheelchair forward toward them, I kept holding my
tears from them, trying to show them my other face.. my angry, terrifying face
..
Nour: ka’hyy el “mu3jbaa” sharft ;)
Ohh no .. ashkara he knows .. no shaikha you can’t give up now ..not now
.. keep standing for yourself , remember?
Me: khair?
Nour: shfech mnfsaa ma gelna ela elsejj *sej=9ej, y3ni tedl3:)::* wela
shrayek khaloud?
Khaled kept staring at me for a while .. I couldn’t read his face
expression ..
I didn’t want him to speak .. because he was my weakness.
Khaled: ee 9a7 wala 9dmtni 9ara7a ma twq3t t7eb mn gulb ..
Ouch #عل الجرح
Shaku “ma t7eb mn gulb” ..
Shnu ma y7ess!!!!
Gulbii le3bh ib eedh ..
Damr gulbii bain edeeh ..
Ashkara mu bs mn9dem ela ma ybadlni nafs elshu3our..
Ana ely sa’hrt el layalii a2lef ash3ar o asre7 feeh bl lail ..
Ib sebta..
صار ليلي
نهار و نهاري ليل ...
O ehw wla hama la o galha ib kel brouud !!!
Aaakhh bs aaakhhh..
my tears found their way on my cheeks..
Me: SHNU ENT MA T7ESS??? MA 3NDK MASHA3ER???*sniffing* AHM SHY ENA ANA
MA YLOUUQ 3ALAY A7EB MN GULB?*sniffing* LISH ANA MU BASHR? MA 3ENDY GULB METHEL
BAJY EL BASHR? MA A7ES ? *sniffing* WELA 7ESBALK ANA 7AYWAN METHLEK AKEL,
ASHREB, ANAAM MAKU ‘9AMEER … BS TADRI ANA ELY GHAL6T, GHAL6AT 3UMRII YOUM SEM7T
LK TDSH GULBII .. AAAKHH 7ASSAFA 3L AYAAAM O EL LAYALIII ELY ‘9AY3T’HA IB
A7LAAAM O SRAAAAB!!! *sniffing* O ENTAYYY, EEEH ENTAAY *pointing at nour* BS
BAGOULCH KELMAA TARA ELY SAWETEH FEENY
BTSHOFEENA!! OU 76Y IB BALICH TARA EL DENYA DAWARAAAA!!!!!!!!
I was about to turn my wheelchair ..to move away from their sight ..
Nour: la7’9a .. shfech entay sht5rb6een? Heyyy baba tara enty 9aida ana
ma wareeta elscript entay f’97ty rou7chh ;)
Me: …….
Nour: ee ely sem3teeh .. o “elmu3jeb” salfa twna m6l3eenha bs chithy
nfilm 3alich .. bs ma h’geetch 9aidaa l’hdrjaaa ;)
OH MY GOD!!!!!
I made a completely fool out of myself ..
I can’t look at khaled shocked face again..
I need to leave this place immediately !!!!!
I pushed the wheelchair as fast as I could .. I guess that I heard
khaled calling my name .. but I have to move on .. I can’t face him after what I
said I CAN’T!!!!!
I was out of MacDonald’s in the middle of the streets ..
I kept remembering what happened just now..
The words that came out of khaled’s mouth..
The words that came out of my mouth..
Nour laughing at my stupidity…
& khaled’s face expression ..
OH NO..
it can’t happen again..
Please not now..
My body start to shiver.. tears appear on my cheeks like a river.. I couldn’t
see clear .. i couldn’t breathe normally.. my heart was speeding up .. I couldn’t
feel my hands.. it was shivering again ..
A car was speeding up towards me ..
All what I could do is
.
.
.
I Kept whispering ..
"اشهد ان لا اله الا الله وانا محمد رسول الله"
.
.
#Random thoughts
Don’t judge people,
Because..
You never know what kind of battle they are fighting.
heyy, hope u enjoyed the long post :p! and yeah ignore the spelling, grammar mistake if I had any, and please support me with your feedback<3
love you all xo
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