There I stood, in the middle of nowhere,
laughing so loud, tearing without a sound, and biting my nails of shame, shame
of this world, shame of those people who wear many masks! Some of them, act
friendly in front of you, and stab you in your back not by a knife, but by
words that will haunt you for the rest of your life. While others treat you
like a “non-living” creature they simply think that your feelings don’t exist. But
there’re only few who stand by your side, hold your hands, and tell you “I’m
here, I love, I care about you” from deep their heart.
Let me take you in a ride with me through
back in time, where I’ve met those people, some still have a place in my heart,
but others their actions forced them to leave my heart.
….
First,
let me describe myself..
My name
is shaikha, I’m 16 years old, I have a long black hair, white skin, two dimples,
I’m too shy, but too friendly, and kind, sometimes my kindness turn to be my
weakness..well, I guess it’s enough as a description? You’ll get to know me
more through reading my blog.
…
*shikha’s
point of view*
I woke up
early that morning, went to the kitchen to fix me something to eat. I was distracted
by my nanny (nancy), she told me that my mom wanted to see me asap! Om my god I
was like اللهم اجعله خير.
I knocked my mom’s door twice, then I spoke clearly ..
Me: mumkn ad5el? nancy tgoul tbeny ‘9aroury?
Mom: eeh tf’9ly..
Me: ha Yuma 3sa mashr..? *stepping inside her room*
Mom: 7abebty ma shr, bs abech t’zahben lch chm badla y3ni
jahzy jan6tch 7g chm youm ..
Me: lishh?? Bnsafer! Youma tadren ana waray finals
magdr asafer:(
Mom: la 7abebty bwdech 3end bait yadtich tg3den 3endha
chm youm ..
Me: lish enshalla? Yumaa la t5sheen shy 3nyy sh9ayer
goulyy tara ana kubrt o gmt afhem!! *raising my voice in the last sentence*
Ahmed: shfeekum sh9aayerr?? Lish 9ra5ch wa9el ly akhr
el 9alaa!
*ahmed is my eldest brother, he study abroad, he visit
us from time to time, my relationship with him isn’t that strong. I always have
fights with him, he keep thinking that he’s the smart, handsome, bossy one
here!!*
Let me describe him..
He’s 23 years old
His height is perfect for a guy
Short dark hair
Dark Brown eyes
Tanned skin
He wear lenses
Carries his canon camera everywhere with him -.-!
*back to the story*
Me: yumaaa t7achyy lish btwadeenyy ehnaak?? *ignoring ahmed*
Mom: ….
Ahmed: heeyy enty la tklmen omy chithy! O la t7green lma
aklmchh! *pulling me from my shirt*
Me: wakherr 3ny ya 7maar gam t3wrniii!!!! *screaming
& tearing*
Mom: ahmed itrk 3nk ekhtek!!!, la t3wrha nzel eedk !!
*trying to remove his hands*
Ahmed: ana hl mra b6wfha bs 3ashan omy, wela enty ma
testahlain mny ra7ma klshhh! *letting me go*
I went back running like a wind to my secret place, to
my safest place in this whole world! I went hiding beneath the covers of my
bed, letting my tears fall on my tomato cheeks .. and drifting in my negative
thoughts..
Thoughts>>>
“dad, if you were here, you’ll be by my side, dad if you
didn’t decide to leave all of a sudden, then I’ll be laying on your chest, and
you’ll be trying to comfort me, dad, without you, I’m nothing, I feel that I’m
stranger in this world ..”
..
I was woken up by my little sister laila, she is 8
years old, too young for the cruelness of this world, don’t laugh, but to be honest
with you, she is the only one who knows how to comforts me .. she’s my
everything.
Laila: shaikhaa goumyy bschh nouumm:(
Shaikha: aaahh .. esasa chum? *yawning*
Laila: 6 o elkbeera 3ala 3 *y3ni 6:15::*
Shaikha: oolah nmt wayed.. wein omy o ahmed?
Laila: ahmed 6l3, omy bl 9ala tn6rch .. galt anadech
trou7en bait yadtich..shaikha la trou7en t5leny brou7i abe arou7 m3ach;(
Shaikha: walla mu ib eedy a9lan ana mu fahma el salfa
madry lish barou7 ehnak *hugging laila*
Laila: 3yal ana kel youm byee 3endch ehnak :D *trying
to cheer me up*
Shaikha: 7abeebtyy 3sa allah la y7rmni mnchh! *kissing
her*
i started packing some clothes, and stuff that I might
need..
after few minutes I was done, I decided to call the
driver, then I went walking as fast as I can avoiding my mom gaze! I reached
the car, decided to call lulu my best friend.
Let me describe her..
She’s 17 years old
One dimple on her left cheek
Body shape is perfect
Tanned skin
Light brown eyes
She’s met7jba
..
*phone call*
Lulu: aloo
Me: lulu :(
Lulu: 7abebtyy 3sa mashr shfeeh 9otich??
Me: I need to see you!! *crying*
ALLL OF A SUDENN!!!!
I heard the driver pressing on the brakes so
harshly!!!!!!! the phone felt from my hand.. i’m shaking so nervously.. I couldn’t
breath well.. my vision started to fade..i just see lights everywhere..oh no,
even the lights are fading away.. I can’t
move a muscle ..
Lulu: shaikhaa wain re7tyyyyy t7achyy tara gam
tkhar3eeny??
I can still hear her voice yelling, but my lips won’t
help me nor my hands..
I kept whispering >>
يارب ساعدني
يارب لا تخذلني
يارب..
يارب..
.
.
.
.
My eyes gave up.
.
.
.
#Random
thoughts
Life has it ups and downs, we don’t know what’s hidden
for us, but what let us keep moving forward is our desire to achieve our goals,
and our optimistic soul that many people felt in love with .. no matter how harsh
life can be.. keep smiling, and if life gives you 1000 reason to be depressed, then give it 100000 reason to be متفائل.
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