Chapter 20&21

ATTENTIONNN!!!

I mentioned in the previous chapter, that maryam is “shaikha’s mother” which it was totally a typing mistake!

Correction: maryam, is “lulu’s mother”

p.s. Readers don’t feel shy to show me my spelling, grammatical mistakes ..etc.  

Since I might not post for a week or more.. I decided to write a VERY LONG post !!!!

ENJOYYYY :D xx

& don’t forget to provide me with your feedback :”)

gbel la ansaa!

This post is dedicated to my amazing, lovely, fa9laa and supportive reader @washiyb98 !!!  iloveyouuu xo

…..

 

He placed his arms on her shoulders..

Moving her closer to him..

She managed to place her head on his chest..

He whispered something to her..

Her laugher was tickling my ears..

Then..

He bent closer..

And started tasting her neck..

Giving her gentle kisses..

. A river of tears appeared on my cheeks ..

SUDDENLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.

.

A hand covered my eyes..

Blocking the view in front of me..

All I could see now, was a black spots..

…

I tried to escape..

To run away from this hell..

To find a shelter ..

So I can feel safe to expose my tears..

But..

My legs failed me..

I couldn’t move..

I was held by a very strong force..

That blocked the vision in front of me..

&

I was trapped..

IN A BEAR HUG.

It felt great..

It felt warm & safe..

I wanted to stay like that forever & ever ..

 

….

 

*ebtisam pov*

I went toward maryam, placing my hands on her shoulder, then pulling her in to a hug..

She was crying like a little child who had lost his valuable toy ..

She broke my heart..

I spoke gently..

Me: maryouma 7ayatii bschh la tbcheen! Tara dmou3ch ghalya 3alay;(

Maryam: shlouunn ma tbeeny abchyy *sniffing* ou ana el sebb ib kel ely ga3ed y9eer*sniffing* KELAA MNYY ANAAA MA 3ERFT ARABI 9AA7!!!! *yelling at the last sentence*

Me: bschh shl 7achyy shg3ed tkharb6eenn!!! Maryam t3wthy mn ebleess!!

Maryam’s hands kept shaking so nervously..

I held her hands gently .. trying to calm her

Maryam: ebtisaamm ana barj3 elkuwait!! Maly g3dh ib hl mukan b3ed ely 9ar!!!!!

me: maryam, 7abebtii entay a39abch talfanaa el7en.. maly kalam ma3ach, rou7y erta7y ou etha hedety netna8sh bl mw’9ou3..

gently, and slowly I let her lay on the bed and placed the cover till her shoulders, then stayed beside her and started reading “elm3wethat” to calm her down ..

until she had fallen asleep on my shoulders..

she looked so pale..

with dozen of dry tears beneath her eyes..

……

*Lulu’s point of view*

I was completely mad at my MOM!!!!

how could she do it??

Kafyy ma sheft mnha la 7anaan wla 7ub!!!

7ata HUG? She never hugged me like the rest mothers..

Each night, when i lay my head on my pillow..

I keep on thinking..

How it feels to have a tight hug from your mom?

How it feels to lay on your mom chest, while she play with your hair..

How it feels to kiss your mom forehead, and tell her “3sa allah la y7rmni mnch..”

& how it feels to hear love words coming out from your mom tongue..

Unfortunately, I haven’t taste any of these.

Well, maybe in my DREAMS but never occurred to me in REALITY.

She didn’t care about my feelings!!!

All she cared about was..

1.What to wear?

2.Where to travel?

3.Who to hang out with?

4.& anything that DOESN’T relates to LULU.

And now? She is planning to destroy my life completely!! By separating me from the people I love, & care about the most..

 

I was laying on my bed with river of tears formed on my cheeks .. I really need to talk to someone right now!!

Shaikha isn’t here for me ..

And I’m not close to any of the other girls..

I was VERY MAD AND IN BAD MOOD!!

The sound of my phone broke my thoughts..

It was from messenger..

*messenger*

Jassem: heyy

Me: khair?

Jassem: 3sa mashr?

Me: ufff shtabi ent el thanyy!! Jad maly khelgk!!!

Jassem: Ana agoul rou7y ray7i ou lma t’hdeen t3aly kalmeni.. allah yhdech bs..

I was typing a message to him but when I pressed on the send button 6l3 error he SIGNED OUT!!! Shittt:)

……

*Shaikha’s pov*

After few seconds that felt like hours..

I was released from that amazing hug..

To look at that person who hugged me tightly..

i was completely in shock when I saw that common face!!!

He.

Was.

MESHARIIIII!!!!!!!!!!

I pushed him away from me, yelling at him..

“waii3 shtabee la7gnyy ly ehnii wakhr 3ny yal ma test7yy wakherrr!!!!!!!”

Meshari: bs ana .. *interrupted by me*

me: ent shnuu???? OU LEK 3AIN T7CHA B3ED ELY SAWETA FEENYY!!! 7ESBALK B9DGEK YOUM GELT LY ENK KNT TYME3 FLOUS 3ASHAN UR GRANDPARENTS ??? LA 7ABEEBYY HATHY SWALFEK MA TMSHYY 3ALAY ANAA FAHEMM?? ENTAW ELSHABAAB KELKUM CHITHYY T9YDOUN 3L BNAAT OU T5LOUNHUM Y6E7OUN IB GHARAMKUM, TSM3OUNHUM KALAMKUM EL 7ELW OU UR FAKE PROMISES OU AKHR SHY B3ED MA TOU9LOUN 7G ELY TABOUNA?? TG6OUNHM GHA6T ELCHLAAB LA RA7MA WLA E7SAAAS!!!!! *Tearing at the last sentence*

….

*Lulu’s point of view*

I woke up that day on a massive headache!!

I went to wash my face..

While staring at myself in the bathroom mirror..

I started to have flashback..

Remembering every single thing happened to me yesterday..

My call with my mom..

How I got mad yesterday..

& my conversation with jassem..

I know I wasn’t suppose to talk to him like that yesterday..

I have hurt his feelings so badly..

I must fix what happened yesterday..

I signed in messenger..

Wishing to find him online..

But my wish failed me..

I decided to check my twitter, whatsapp & instagram..

Waiting his appear in messenger..

I checked twitter, to find out that I was still on jassem alxxx profile..

The one which I stalked him before a day ago..

The one who our eyes met 2 times..

Since I’m bored.. I started reading his tweets..

I WAS IN SHOCK!!!!!!!!

His last tweet was from last night..

And his tweets were like this..

“hatha ely nage9 y9boun ‘3a’9bhum feeny…#allah kareem bs”

“dmou3ek ghalyaa 3alay 7abebii ..”

“atmna a3ref sebb ‘9eegtek.. atmna agdr asa3dek....”

“lwlaa ghalahum ma 9ebrnaa!!”

“ya laiit hl 7zn feeny wla feekkk!!”

“meshtagleekkk!!”

I read carefully, every sentence, every word, every letter..

Now, I’m sure he is the same jassem I talk to in messenger!!

Is this mean he is stalking me ?? :’)

I need to make sure!!

….

*maryam pov*

I woke up on a massive headache, I took my pills from the drawers beside me and was about to swallow it, when suddenly ebtisam held my hands forcing me to stop!!

Me: haw ebtisaam shfeechh!!

Ebtisam: entay yaneeti?? Fe a7ed ya5th 7bouba ou reeja nashef!! Tben tent7ren wela shnu??

Me: lish ant7er? A9lan tadren ana youmi garb ya ebtisam ..

Ebtisam: ESTGHFRYY RABCHH YA MARYAM!!! El moot ib eed allah sub7ana .. m7ed ydri meta youmaa ..

Me: bs el dectour gal ena *interrupted by ebtisam*

Ebtisam: eldectour shnu? EHWA MUJARED BASHAR!!! Ou el bashr y56oun ou ehw mu 3alem el’3aib !! estghfry rabchh bs..

Me: estghfralla ..

Ebtisam: 3n ethnech barou7 aswelch hathak el ryoug ely t7beenh *fake smile*

Ebtisam left..

I was all alone now..

I started having flashbacks..

The call between me and my dear lulu..

How she got upset..

The words that she said to me is still haunting me..

She didn’t know that I wanted the BEST for her!!

She didn’t know that I don’t want her to get attach to me.. because I’m dying here!!!

*flashback*

3 years ago..

to be specific..

lmn t6lgt mn ubo lulu..

I went through HARD times..

I kept locking myself in the room 24/7 refusing to eat..

Afraid to face the world’s reaction..

I started to get lifeless..

And sometimes I talk to myself and start throwing stuff randomly ..

I started to get insane..

After 1 year,

 Ebtisam took me to the psychological ..

They gave me appointment twice a week..

But after a month..

When I started to get my health back..

I don’t know what happened to them exactly, I guess because of the overloaded schedule they don’t have the time to give sessions to all the people in here.. so they get rid from most of them by giving them pills to swallow, these pills help them to relax & calm down, it also might let them feel dizzy..

I was given a lot of these pills..

I used to take 3 but sometimes it exceeds to 5 daily..

Whenever I get mad or lose control of myself..

Whenever I start to shake nervously..

I swallow these pills to help me calm down..

They are like a “mukhader” “muhada’at” to me..

After 2 years of using these pills..

I started to have a MASSIVE headache..

It kept me awake day and night..

These pills won’t help me anymore to decrease this pain..

I went to the hospital and knew from the doctor that

.

.

!!!!!

 

*jassem pov*

I went online in messenger.. to find lulu is online too!!

I wanted to see if she’s okay..

But I don’t want to ask her first..

Cause she had already hurt me..

She’s the one to start apologizing..

Oh wait!!

She sent me something

*messenger*

Lulu: heyy, I know what I did was totally wrong, and somehow I hurt ur feeling .. I wasn’t suppose to “a9eb ‘3athby 3alek” that day .. but I was so deep hurt.. and I wasn’t in a good mood to talk though.. so I hope u forgive me L xx

Me: you know that I can’t be mad at you ..

Lulu: does that mean u are forgiving me?

Me: you can say so..

Lulu: awwh thank you !!

Me: no need..

Lulu: hey, can u promise me to be honest with me?

Me: again?:c  allah yster bs::

Lulu: promiseL?

Me: i promise..

Lulu: well, madri shloun afat7ek bl mw’9ou3.. bkht9ar are u stalking me?

Me: tara hathy thany mra ts2leni nafs el su2l :)

Lulu: I know.. bs hl mra ‘3er shouf ana bgolek kel el salfa ou atmna tkoun 9aree7 m3ay .. lish feh 2 jassem ib 7ayati ou a7es it’s just you..i mean 1 jassem .. el salfa bdt mn.. *telling him everything*

Thoughts>>>

7eel wde agoul lha ena hatha ana jassem ely shafeta bl hospital ou bl airport..

Bs yarbyy khayef mn redt f3lhaa..

Akhaaf t39eb ou takhth 3ny fkraa mu zainaa..

Wela ya khoufii trou7 mn eedyy!!!

Bs magdr achatheb 3aleha akthr mn chithyy!!

Mardha b,t3ref ena ana ehw jassem hathaak !!!

I quickly sent her a picture..

It was me in the picture!!

*messenger*

Me: hatha ehw ely shefteh 9a7?:P

Lulu: HATHAA ENTT???

Me: yeah..

Lulu: !!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE WENT OFFLINE!!!! :’)         

…..

*jawa’s pov*

Well, jawa is a new character..

Let me describe her for you first..

She’s 16 years old..

White skin..

Big brown eyes..

Light brown hair..

Her height is perfect for a girl..

& she’s TOO SHY.

*It was 6:00 pm in London*

I was walking in the oxford street heading back to the hotel..

I was playing with my phone..

My eyes were on the screen..

Completely avoiding what’s in front of me..

I knew that I had reached the hotel..

So as always, I moved my right hand to open the glass door..

Still staring on the screen..

But this time, the door handle felt more warm and comfortable..

As if it was made from a HUMAN FLESH!!!!

I looked up from my phone to find

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It can’t happen ..

Laa laa fashlaaaa

Enshala tnsheg el ar’9 ou tbl3nyy bs wla yseer feeny hl mwgef elkhayess!!!!!

I touched a human hand..

To be more specific..

It was a hand of a

GUY

!!!!!!!!

…..

 

*jassem pov*

It been 2 weeks since our last conversation ..

It been 2 weeks since I had reveled to her everything..

These 2 weeks were like months to me!!!

I miss her so much!!

I’ve talked to millions of girls but none of them “trset 3ainy” kethrr lulu.

 

مشتاقلك بالحيل وينك ؟
اناديك..
صوتي عجز لايوصلك وانت غايب!
يامالك هالقلب
والروح بيديك
ياكل هالعالم
وياكل القرايب
يااجمل شقا
شافته عين مغليك
يا اصدق سعاده في زمان العجايب
يا احلى موده عشتها
دون تشكيك
يانبض عمري
يااعز الحبايب
في غيبتك
-كل البشر-
ماتساويك
مااحد مسلي خافق
فيك ذايب
كلن سأل محتار
وشفيك؟
وشفيك؟
وشفيه قلبك
من هنا العمر طايب؟
مادروا ان الفرح
ملك اياديك
والروح
-من فرقاك-
راحت ذهايب!
يرضيك هذا الحال
ياشوق
يرضيك؟
توقد لك الذكرى
بصدري لهايب..
حيران فكري
بين هذي وهذيك..
نسيتني
وصار الرجا فيك خايب؟
ولامثل ما اشقاني البعد مشقيك؟
ومثل دمعي السكاب
دمعك سكايب؟
ارجيك
ثم ارجع ارجيك
وارجيك
لاتطول الغيبه
واعود الترايب!
لاتقطعه وصلك..
واعود..
اناديك..
صوتي عجز لايوصلك وانت
غايب؟!!